A successful trip to the States and a great graduation for Kaarin (except for the speakers mispronouncing her name both times!). For her graduation gift, she had asked for scuba lessons so we both decided that sounded like a fun thing to do. There are not many things in my life that I have quit. Looking back, though, I have realized that the majority of them have been sports related….gymnastics, softball and now….scuba. I have been struggling to find a word in the English language that is strong enough to express my dislike for scuba but I have yet to find one. The closest I can get is “loathing”. For those of you who have not tried scuba, you may love it. Most people seem to love it. I just can’t fathom why. First, you must melt yourself into a scuba suit that was obviously designed by Satan. If the water is really cold, you get to put on two Satan suits. Then, you put on a vest that straps around your waist and chest that has a cylinder attached to the back much like a suicide bomber. After that is accomplished, you put on a mask that blocks all but your straight forward field of vision. Next comes the ever so logical fins. In order to get the fins on, you must grab onto your dive partner (who is also wearing the same suicide bomber getup), balance well enough to lift one foot, pull the fin onto your foot with one hand and manage to fasten the clip. Once you get one fin on, you get to do the other one with the added benefit of now having one foot the size of a large clown shoe. Now, once all of that is done, you are all ready to get into the water….which is at least a million miles away from where you are so you get to attempt to walk in the clown shoes with the bomb strapped to your back….without falling down. Once you are in the water, you then must add weights to your bomber vest so that you will sink to the bottom of the body of water. I don’t know about you but my entire life has been spent learning how to not sink to the bottom of a body of water. “Sally, wear your floaties”. “Sally, wear your lifejacket”. “Sally, practice your swimming lessons”. “Sally, tread water”. All good life survival lessons in my book. “Sally, strap this bomber vest to yourself and add weights so you sink to depths that are beyond human survival and then we’ll practice a safe ascent so that you don’t get the bends and die on the way up to the surface”. At this point, my self-preservation alarm began to sound. My next challenge was my gracefulness and poise. On land, it is a good day if I make it through the entire day without falling down. Therefore, in the water, I figured I would be far more graceful. Not so….Picture Sally in scuba gear being jettisoned out of an airlock into space with arms and legs flailing as she tries to get back to the mother ship. I must say that it was a pivotal moment in my life when I announced that scuba was not for me and I crawled back onto shore, dropped my bomber vest and peeled myself out of the Satan suit. I think I heard Kaarin sigh with relief as she descended back below the surface to continue her class.
My next adventures this week were medical related. First, I had to get yet another swab shoved up my nose in order to return to Sint Maarten. Second, I had to undergo my five year colonoscopy which is always great fun. Having these two medical events occur in the same week in two different countries was a great opportunity to do a direct comparison. Initially when we moved out of the States, I was 100% certain that any medical procedures I needed would still be done in the States. However, the longer I am out of the States, the more I realize that other countries also have excellent medical care. I still believe if I had something very serious I would catch a flight back to the States but for routine care, I am definitely sold on the advantages of being out of the red tape kingdom that we have created. The following outline of my two medical experiences this week will definitely let you know what I mean…. On Sunday in Charleston, I pulled into a brand new Urgent Care to get a PCR test. I walked into the empty waiting room and approached the reception desk. The receptionist looked up at me and then continued typing on her computer. When she was done, she asked if she could help me. I told her what I needed and she requested my ID. Once I had given her my ID, she asked for my insurance card. I told her that I would just be paying for the test and would not be filing insurance. This answer seemed to confuse her for a minute because she stated, “Most insurance will pay for the test” to which I replied, “No thank you. I’ll just pay for it”. She then handed me six pieces of paper on a clipboard. Four of them were a case history that included everything from past births to surgeries to family health history. I asked the receptionist if all this paperwork was really needed since I was just getting a swab shoved up my nose. She looked perplexed again and nodded yes. I completed the four forms and noted that the next two were related to privacy which gave me a chuckle because, let’s face it, if that PCR test had come back positive, everyone from the hazmat team to the airlines would have had my health records. I then sat and waited for another ten minutes for a nurse to come out and take me back to the room. She took my vitals and then proceeded to ask me all of the same health questions that had been on the forms I filled out. I again expressed that all I needed was a PCR test so she stopped asking questions and proceeded to shove the swab up my nose which “had to be 15 seconds on each side”. I did not have the heart to tell her that this was my seventh test and no one ever exceeded three seconds…! I then waited 15 minutes for the results which she entered into the computer and then printed for me. I went back out front and paid for my test and left as the receptionist was still inputting all of my information into a system that would never see me again since I do not live in the area. Now onto the colonoscopy in Sint Maarten. First, I met with the doctor for an initial consultation a few weeks ago. The doctor answered the phone, he scheduled the appointment and when I arrived, he greeted me at the door. We discussed the procedure and the prep for the procedure (which everyone knows is the truly fun part of a colonoscopy). In Sint Maarten, they still allow use of the ‘good stuff’ what was pulled by the FDA about 10 years ago for some nonsensical reason so the prep was going to be much easier than in the States. He then pulled out his day planner and we scheduled the date of the procedure. I paid him $75 in cash for the consultation and left with prescription in hand. On Friday, we arrived at the medical center in town and I was directed to take a number and take a seat. The building was not new but was under construction to repair the usual hurricane damage. As people came into work, every one of them said, ‘Good Morning” and smiled to the point that I got tired of saying Good Morning in return! Everyone from doctors to orderlies greeted the patients in the waiting area and hallways. I waited 10 minutes for my number to be called. I went up to the window and the receptionist greeted me and asked for my ID. She then asked for a form that the doctor should have given me that I did not have. She left for a few minutes and came back with the form. She said the doctor sent his apologies that he did not give me the paper as he was supposed to do. After she put my name and address into the system, she told us to walk back to room 10. We walked back to room 10 and then the doctor came out and guided us into the procedure room. Bill noted that all of the equipment was new and state-of-the-art. I paid the doctor $450.00 in cash and the nurses helped me prepare for the procedure. The doctor then put an IV in my arm and administered the medication. Once the procedure was done, he sat with us and explained the findings. We then stepped across the hall where Bill paid for the lab work to be done ($200.00) and then we paid the hospital bill in full ($900). That was it! No forms. No billing for the next year by five different entities playing insurance games. Nothing. It was that easy. The biggest plus of the whole thing was that Bill booked us a room at a resort near the hospital for my prep time so while I was suffering through nasty stuff, at least I had a beautiful view! I am back on the boat now and we begin our planning for moving down the island chain in a few weeks which is going to be an adventure for sure. Have a great week and I hope you survive tax day!
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AuthorSally Miller Archives
May 2024
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